I loved this , like i get it how when your older nothing is handed to you and now that your older you have to actually do stuff like work and earn your keep unlike when you were younger when everything was handed too you. ..GOOD JOB
" The silver spoon is slowly being removed" I LOVE THAT LINE!!!! I wish that you would have told us about the spoon earlier like you getting fed with the spoon by someone else, just so we can see that things are getting taking away from you. I feel as though you could have put more images, or put more like meaning to your pome. but to me that last line was powerfulllll!!!!!
Your poem is very clear in its meaning, I feel like you might want to not be so foward just because the reader should have to do more work for your poem. I think the most powerful line is the last one because it gives me a visual representation of what you are trying to say. I would like more of that in your poem. Maybe comparing the images of things used when you are an infant and the things you encounter as an adult. I think the concept is good, but I would like you to play with images more to bring that concept out.
I really like the last line!!!! It's true, when you're a baby everything is given to you on a silver platter, when you grow up responsibilities come along and alot changes. I think it could be longer and everything was given to us in this poem, it was very straight forward. But the overall concept is true, so I get where you're coming from.
This poem may be short, but shows as clear as glass what is changing. The silver spoon was a great line, it shows that your parents are not going to always be there for you, and are not always going to provide for you. Most of the poem was straight forward, which you should make the reader do a little more "evaluating."
Very simple. The last line says quite a bit
ReplyDeleteI loved this , like i get it how when your older nothing is handed to you and now that your older you have to actually do stuff like work and earn your keep unlike when you were younger when everything was handed too you. ..GOOD JOB
ReplyDelete" The silver spoon is slowly being removed"
ReplyDeleteI LOVE THAT LINE!!!! I wish that you would have told us about the spoon earlier like you getting fed with the spoon by someone else, just so we can see that things are getting taking away from you. I feel as though you could have put more images, or put more like meaning to your pome. but to me that last line was powerfulllll!!!!!
This is a very short poem.it explains your picture, you could ahve added a bit more
ReplyDeleteYour poem is very clear in its meaning, I feel like you might want to not be so foward just because the reader should have to do more work for your poem. I think the most powerful line is the last one because it gives me a visual representation of what you are trying to say. I would like more of that in your poem. Maybe comparing the images of things used when you are an infant and the things you encounter as an adult. I think the concept is good, but I would like you to play with images more to bring that concept out.
ReplyDeleteI really like the last line!!!! It's true, when you're a baby everything is given to you on a silver platter, when you grow up responsibilities come along and alot changes. I think it could be longer and everything was given to us in this poem, it was very straight forward. But the overall concept is true, so I get where you're coming from.
ReplyDeleteThis poem may be short, but shows as clear as glass what is changing. The silver spoon was a great line, it shows that your parents are not going to always be there for you, and are not always going to provide for you. Most of the poem was straight forward, which you should make the reader do a little more "evaluating."
ReplyDeleteFav Line: Same as everyone else lol :D